Well my life is messed up again.  Last week I got a message from our Landlord that he had sold the trailer we were living in and that we had two weeks to move.  I finally got them to change that for a full 4 weeks and now we have until May 23, 2015 to find a home where we can have the horses.  Since all this has started I have had a lot of negative messages from people I know.  I feel like no matter what I do its never going to satisfy some people.  I have a lot of people on my friends list for Facebook yet I feel like I have no friends.  I only have a few people in my life who have always been supportive of me.  All my friends have left me.  It makes me wonder what the FUCK did I do to make this happen.

I'm trying to raise money to help us find a place to live and it has only raised $50 that is not going to do anything.  I post my Gofundme.com on Facebook hoping that I can get a little help and all I get is NEGATIVE messages.  I'm sorry I am only human and my life is not as perfect as those people or that I'm not a perfect person and SHIT HAPPENS!

I will be 38 years old in about a month and a half I have one child who hates me.  The only thing I can say is I'm sorry I am not married to a lawyer or a doctor.  I don't have a lot of money in fact I usually have no money.  The only thing I can offer my children is my unconditional love.  No matter what she thinks that love will never change.  I wish she did not have to shoot daggers into my heart but I guess I just have to deal with the hurt silently.

We have three weeks to find a place to live that we can afford and keep our horses yet I'm sure they will end up going to a rescue.  I have to decide which of the dogs I get to keep.  I hate that it falls on my shoulders but it hurts that its the dogs that we have because I wanted them.  Its the ones that seem to get on most peoples nerves.  Feeling pretty low right now I just don't know what to do anymore.  I'm trying to live my life the way I wanted to and keep my family happy and I fail all the time.

I'm just tired!!!!!!!!!!!