Some Good News that is also, Sad at the same time.

Okay it's that time of year again where parents are reminded just how fast their kids are growing up.  This whole year she has not been doing well in some of her classes and there was talk of holding her back next year.  We are parents that are real active in our kids school and their grades.  In saying that, if our girls are failing a class they are grounded until that grade comes up and if they are held back the next year they are grounded for the entire next school year...  I know there are people out there that would say that is too harsh.  When we got the first report card this year and we saw that Gabbi was failing one of her classes she was grounded.  Then by the first report card of this second semester she was failing three classes.  We explained to her that she was running out of time and that if she did not fix this, we would ground her for the entire next year.  She started working hard and in short time had brought up to of her classes grades...  There was one class that she just could not bring up no matter how are she worked at it.  I had her tested to see if she needed extra help in that class.

After the testing it was discovered that she did have a problem with Reading Retention.  However, the Special Education department decided that her problem was not bad enough to be in Special Education.  We continued to work hard in helping her to bring up her grade.  She was able to bring it up a little and we were worried that she was going to be held back.  I called the school this morning to find out about some dines she had, and they let me know that she will be going on to the next grade.  

I know that there are a lot of school districts that don't mark moving from the eighth grade to the ninth grade with a ceremony.  The Bennett School District in Bennett, Colorado does.  There was talk that she would not be able to be in the ceremony because of a fine for a book.  Anyways, to make a very long story short I called the school today to straighten everything out and to find out if Gabbi was going to be held back and I got confirmation that she is moving on to high school next year.

After I got off the phone with this news I started thinking "My Baby Girl is moving on to high school and growing up too quickly!"  Gabbi is my youngest and now all three of my girls are in high school.  It feels like just yesterday they were still in diapers.  I'm very proud of her, I'm very proud of all the kids.  Next year both girls will be home schooled, which I hope will help Gabbi out.

It seems everything is slowly coming together.  I can feel the stress amping up a little as we deal with the final week before we have to move.  Yesterday I rented the storage unit and put reservations on our motel room for three nights.  I am meeting with Craig Curl to work on getting the business plan done for the ranch.  I just have to keep a positive attitude and things will work out.

One thing that is having to go away is Shazi our Min Pin puppy.  She is too hyper to be in a motel and for her own sake we are selling her.  Its sad yet I know that she will be loved and happy.  Well that is all my news for today...

Well my life is messed up again.  Last week I got a message from our Landlord that he had sold the trailer we were living in and that we had two weeks to move.  I finally got them to change that for a full 4 weeks and now we have until May 23, 2015 to find a home where we can have the horses.  Since all this has started I have had a lot of negative messages from people I know.  I feel like no matter what I do its never going to satisfy some people.  I have a lot of people on my friends list for Facebook yet I feel like I have no friends.  I only have a few people in my life who have always been supportive of me.  All my friends have left me.  It makes me wonder what the FUCK did I do to make this happen.

I'm trying to raise money to help us find a place to live and it has only raised $50 that is not going to do anything.  I post my Gofundme.com on Facebook hoping that I can get a little help and all I get is NEGATIVE messages.  I'm sorry I am only human and my life is not as perfect as those people or that I'm not a perfect person and SHIT HAPPENS!

I will be 38 years old in about a month and a half I have one child who hates me.  The only thing I can say is I'm sorry I am not married to a lawyer or a doctor.  I don't have a lot of money in fact I usually have no money.  The only thing I can offer my children is my unconditional love.  No matter what she thinks that love will never change.  I wish she did not have to shoot daggers into my heart but I guess I just have to deal with the hurt silently.

We have three weeks to find a place to live that we can afford and keep our horses yet I'm sure they will end up going to a rescue.  I have to decide which of the dogs I get to keep.  I hate that it falls on my shoulders but it hurts that its the dogs that we have because I wanted them.  Its the ones that seem to get on most peoples nerves.  Feeling pretty low right now I just don't know what to do anymore.  I'm trying to live my life the way I wanted to and keep my family happy and I fail all the time.

I'm just tired!!!!!!!!!!!